I miss crazy....

There are so many things that enter my head that sometimes I don't think I should grant entry.  They are not scary things that you read about serial killers.  Though, those thoughts would be just as unwelcome.  It's the thoughts that you wouldn't think would enter the mind of someone you admire or would aspire to be.

It's those selfish thoughts.  Or, it could also be those feelings that you'd like to think are foreign, but are more familiar than you'd like.  Lately, I miss being angry.  That sounds ludicrous.  But the truth is, I have been missing the anger for quite some time.

I laughed to myself the other day when I thought that "this shitty day is going on about 10 years now.  But like ice cream, shit has many different flavours.  Rocky Road, I think was my favourite.  However, it's been mostly vanilla lately.

As I write this down, "Eat shit and die" comes to mind.  Ha!  Guess I'm half done.

Anyway, at the height of the turmoil, it was crazy.  Nancy and Jackson were sick, were making  adding to my craziness, and though it wasn't graceful, I was at least deflecting some of the feces coming off the fan.  It was crazy, and in at least a small sense, it was ok.

Nancy is gone now, five months.  The angst is still my companion, though the craziness has since gone away.  

At least crazy kept you busy.......