As the years go by, I get scared that I don't remember all the things we did.  All the things we were.  All the things we felt.  I will surely never forget her.  But I fear sometimes that those memories I cherish will become less vivid.  Afterall, that's all I have are those meomories.  I think sometimes that those times will never be recreated or times that even come close to those will never happen again.

The summer we married, we had so very little in terms of material.  But we had each other.  All the money we did have went to student loans.  A bit to pot, but mostly to rent and food.  We were living in Windsor where she was fulfilling the last few months of her lease and I was finishing the last two credits for my degree.
We both struggled to find odd jobs and we lived pretty frugally in a student house with other roomates and no air conditioning. One afternoon, we went down to the local mall, not to buy anything, but just to enjoy some respite from the heat.  That's where we invented the "mall game".   The mall game was essentially people watching.  The variant was picking out couples and picturing what they would look like having sex. Few couples were of the Brad and Angelina echelon. Needless to say, we giggled much.

I look back on those people today in a little different light.  No matter how ridiculous it may have seemed then, there was a beauty in their couplings.  Today, on some days, I feel the urge to tell them if it doesn't end in a bad hatred fuelled breakup, it will end with the pain of death.  But of course I keep quiet.  I don't want to soil their experiences.  I would never give up mine.

Later

Deaner